YOUTH GARAGE

The Importance & Power of Friendship

Last modified on 2011-06-28 12:26:14 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

“Friends?”… “Friends!” – And there begins a journey, a relationship that has no ties and yet binds you into an everlasting bond. Sometimes it need not be even mentioned as friendship; it might not be given any name at all. It knows no boundary, no gender, no race, cast or creed. It depends on what you make of it, but one thing remains common, which is a sense of security and belongingness. That is what friendship is all about. That is what friendship is supposed to give. That is the power of friendship.

When you feel low, the only thing that can comfort you is the warm presence of a dear friend. Sometimes even talking over phone or the internet can help you calm down and feel better. True friendship always gives and never demands because it knows that it will receive when required. Happiness doubles and sorrows half in the company of a friend. Friendship can heal a depressed mind or a broken heart. That is the power of friendship.

Who is a friend? It need not be someone who is not related to you. A friend can be anyone; it might be a classmate, a roommate, a servant, a sibling, your parents, your spouse, a cousin; it might be a group or a single person… It’s all about clicking. The only need is to feel comfortable in the presence of the people you have referred to as a friends. Why only people? Friends can be found in a pet or a cow that visits your porch everyday or a crow that eats from your window sill or a cat that always enters your house uninvited or the neighbour ‘s dog that wags its tail everytime it sees you. As I mentioned earlier, friendship knows no bounds. It is just a feeling, and the simplest of all. That indeed is the power of friendship.

Man’s worst fear is loneliness, and in the process of alleviating it, he goes to levels that may sometimes prove to be harmful. Getting into wrong company, falling prey to people who at no cost should be allowed any space in one’s life,are very common traits visible in the youth today. The blissful ties of friendship are getting soiled. In today’s materialistic world, even feelings have become commodities. People are living in a cage and “frienship” in the true sense of the word has lost its meaning. In such a state, people are becoming hypocritical and friendship has also become a mere commodity . But are people truly happy with such relationships? The answer is never affirmative. Ultimately, the heart seeks genuineness and honesty, which have no substitutes. It is true friendship that the world seeks.

 

Are You Balancing Love And Career?

Last modified on 2011-06-28 12:30:43 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

 

Flipping through the pages of a reputed national daily newspaper this morning, I came across the column where a renowned celebrity answers the love queries sent in by the readers. A passing glance over the section and something immediately catches my attention. Most of these people who have poured their heart out are the young boys and girls belonging to the age group of 16 to 22 years. And this gets me thinking; thinking about the importance of the intricate balance between love and career in the lives of the youngsters.

During the past century, having a boyfriend/girlfriend or being in a relationship had an unsaid limits till one became professionally stable and financially independent. This gave the individual ample and well deserved time to be devoted towards the studies and other extra-curricular, aimed at improving one’s career graph. And later in life, one had just the correct amount of time and satisfaction of being in love and enjoying all the moments associated with this immaculate feeling. This demarcation in terms of age made matters simpler, as one could focus one’s entire energy, concentration and hard work towards one thing at a time. This ensured that the delicate equilibrium between career and love life was maintained.

But now, with the dawn of the 21st century, there has been a major upsurge in the portion of the younger population of India (and developing countries in general) who is getting lured towards the so-called “cool” lifestyle of the West, majorly due to the easy access to the outside world scenario via the internet and other print media. Most youngsters want to taste the flavor of being in love AND at the same time make their careers and survive in this brutal rat race. While there are some who are masters of all trades and balance their love and work lives equally well, but most of us out here are carried away on one side.

More often than not, we dedicate more time and thoughts than required at that particular age towards love and largely neglect our work front. This is because of the fact that youngsters tend to go with their hearts all the time, and often ignore the obvious truth. The heart seems to prevail over the mind. The idea of being in love, the day dreaming about the relationship, the memories of the dates, the anger of the fights and the depression in case of a heart-break, occupy our mind continuously and this greatly affects our performance in the exams and other class assignments. So it is important that a balance is maintained between the two spheres of life.

I do not ask you not to have your share of crushes during your teen and college years; it is all a part of growing up as it gives us the strength to handle things in a mature way, but I do feel that the time allotted to love and career should be regulated. As they say, excess of everything is bad. One must remember that there is a correct time for everything, and maybe the 16-22 year range is meant to make or break your career and thus, it should be utilized in a more judicious and practical manner. It is important to realize and practice the fact that things are good when they are done at the right time. It may sound a bit preachy, but a balanced life has its own benefits. Try it.

By Sonali Jain.

Drop your views in the comments section below.

 

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8 Ways To Resolve The War Of Egos

Last modified on 2011-06-28 12:33:54 GMT. 2 comments. Top.

I witnessed a tiff between two of my colleagues in the morning. The issue was very small but they made a mountain out of a molehill. They fought childishly, blamed each other, refused to see where they went wrong. To put it very briefly, it was quite disgusting to see two thirty-plus year olds fighting like immature kids. In fact, kids today are much more mature.

Both of them were as wrong as much as they much as they were right from their own points of view. Both had their own constraints and faults. The issue came up to our Boss, who very expertly handled it to make them realize why the whole issue had happened and where they went wrong. The entire process took 2 hours. At the end of it, did they or any of them realize what went wrong? I doubt.

They are still adamant on their stand. Each one thinks he/she was right. Maybe their feelings were hurt by the other. Or maybe it was their ego. Each could have sobered down to make the other understand but they did not. Why should I? Is what each one of them said. The realization needs to come from within. And that needs a certain level of maturity.

Why do conflicts happen? Why do we fight? Why do we develop ill feelings for others? We don’t like getting hurt. We don’t like listening to strong words. We don’t like being targeted or dominated upon. At the end of it all, it is our ego that dominates us.

We meet all kinds of people in our daily lives – Smart, over-smart, cunning, stupid, slow, dominating, intelligent. All of them won’t behave the way we want them to. Does that mean we will get into arguments with everyone and spread ill feelings?

By being aware and following some steps, we can avoid conflicts in our daily life:

1. Be logical: Put forward your point with logic and rationale behind them. No one can defy logic. If you have a rationale behind what you are saying, the person on the opposite side will tend to understand. People do not understand demands and whims and fancies of others. Make the other person understand your point of view with valid reasons.
2. No anger, please: It is true that anger is our biggest enemy. Many a relations have broken and damage done because of harsh words. Anger can cause irreparable damage. Don’t most of us say things in anger which we didn’t really mean? Don’t we ourselves think about it the next day and realize that we shouldn’t have said so? Take a pause and think before speaking out.
3. Keep your cool: Irrespective of the emotions the other party might be provoking. This is a difficult task but can be done with conscious practice. By reacting, we immediately lose our stature and logical reasoning. This may either undermine your stand or aggravate the conflict further.
4. Know the key to the lock: Each person is different and needs to be handled differently. One key doesn’t open all locks. One tactic cannot work on all individuals. Different people get motivated in different ways. Different people have different ego levels. Some are more down to earth than others. These differences tell us that to tackle each individual in this world, there is a unique technique.
5. Leave your egos aside: Ego blinds us and makes us unreasonable. We often forget why we started a conversation once it becomes dysfunctional. Whatever logic we started with also evaporates. Set aside your ego and think from the other’s point of view too. Do not behave in a certain way because your ego is prompting you to. I assure you, you will look back at your ego clashes and think – Gee, was that me?
6. Target the issue, not the individual: Do not get personal. Address the issue and its difficulties, not the individual and his deficiencies. The moment you get personal, an individual tends to get defensive or could be hurt. And then the blame game and pointing fingers starts. Focus only on the issue and bring it to a logical conclusion, without offending anyone.
7. Do not bring in past issues: Do not bring out past grudges against an individual. The past issues are solved and forgotten. This chapter is new, not to be linked to any other past incident. It goes without saying – do not hold grudges at all. Holding grudges spoils relations and creates unnecessary bitter feelings that we can live without.
8. Put yourself in other person’s shoes: You cannot do this unless you come out of yours. What if you were stuck in the same situation? See the same situation from his point of view and see his constraints. Is he being genuine? Can you do anything to make his job easier? Help him to help you.

We fail to realize that we are all humans. If we do not like being spoken badly to, we should know what impact our rude words will have on others. Let us be aware of the impact our actions will have on others before we take any step in impulse. After all, we have only one life.

By Neha Saxena